”It’s been two years since our Break The Law operation. Two years since…” Rocky leans back in his chair. The other HQ officers have long since gone back to their estates. Having gotten behind on his tasks, Rocky stayed at the Headquarters to try and tackle the ever-growing mound of neighborhood requests and reports. With tired eyes, he stares at the papers strewn about on his desk. "This is gonna be a long night."     “Snooty Sinjin is missing one of his dogs. Magnates have taken Connie Ferris’ pinecones… again. Lil Oldman accidentally sent his love letter meant for a Mingler to the HQ. Embarrassing,” Rocky rolls his eyes and sighs. “Why don’t I just leave these petty reports to Frosty Faith. She’s still got that newbie spirit, right?” Shoving all the papers into a pile, he slides them over to her desk.    “Now, let’s get to the real deal.” The light in his eyes returning, Rocky pulls out a portfolio with a large red label stating ''CONFIDENTIAL''. As he flips through the information inside, his inner monologue becomes reflective, "After the CLO came into office, the Lawbots received their fancy new personality processors. It was unprecedented. We were able to bring a couple back to HQ recently without them being too soaked or pie-filled. In the name of Silliness, I’ve been studying them here along with Dr. Surlee. The fruits of our efforts could prove to be the difference with Toonkind winning each new battle. Now, if only we could-" Suddenly, the lights go out.    “Seriously? I could’ve sworn we paid our bill to Powers Erge. Oh well, I guess I should go look-“ Rocky’s words catch in his throat as he hears the rattling of things being knocked over. Running his hands over his desk, he finds his flashlight and clicks it on. "That sound… It came from the lab. No way." Trying to straighten out the worried expression on his face, Rocky tiptoes around the desk and up the stairs. Pushing open the door leading to the lab, with only the small ray of light in his hand guiding him, he presses onward. “Steve? Is that you? You already know what I told you about playing pranks in the workplace!” Rocky shouts unconfidently.    Now halfway into the room, with each step getting increasingly panicked, Rocky comes to a halt. A slow realization washes over him: “Where are those cogs?” An all-too-familiar voice behind him makes his fur stand on end: “You should know, I have some killer instincts.”

“it’s a beautiful day outside. legal eagles are flying, big cheeses are golfing. on days like this, toons like you… should surrender your gags.” Sads firmly says to me. He knows what I’ve done. I have exterminated many of his fellow Cogs, almost as many as I could, until none of them would dare to battle me. We both knew this day would arrive. I feel as if the gears are crawling on my back. “do you want to have a sad time?.” he asks. So it begins, there’s no turning back now. Sads’ 1HP may deceive you, but if not prepared, you have no idea what you’re up against. My laff immediately begins draining, before he even attacks. I throw 5 cupcakes, 5 turns in a row. Nothing. He weaves and veers each one of them. His attacks only do 1 damage each, but the gears are really crawling on my back now, draining myriads of laff points as each second goes by. It’s a game of survival of the fittest. Sads knows my gags are meaningless to him, he only thinks of me as merely an obstacle in his goal of toon extermination. But I’m not going down without a fight. With each cupcake and squirting flower he evades, he only grows more tired. I can see the oil dripping down his metallic neck. “i would seriously reconsider, cause you are NOT gonna like what happens-” I toss a cupcake before he even finishes speaking. “well, alright, since you are so persistent.” This is the time to strike. Here goes nothing! *button click* as my piano drops from above as his health reads “-9999” . He arises from under the piano and catches his breath. “so… that’s that i guess.” … “just don’t say i didn’t warn you.” I blankly stare into his soulless wires. He is nothing but a chassis filled with circuits and wiring. I feel no mercy. He takes one last heavy breath and says “welp. i’m going to vrby’s.” before slowly sliding to the left into the dark abyss, to never be seen again… Why should I let a cog judge me for my actions, for he is a sinner himself? The fate of a cog is not decided by themselves, for they are just robots. Soulless computers, programmed for the destruction of toon-kind. It seems he underestimated my most powerful weapon. Not laff. Not gags. But, the power of “de-toon-ermation.”

From the beginning of time, humanoid toons and capitalistic cogs roamed the land of Toonbot. They coexisted in perfect harmony and their differences created a beautiful, idyllic society. While the toons were focused on the fun in life; the cogs used their economic finesse to maintain order in Toonbot. The balance of joy and structure resulted in prosperity and peace for all. But while some valued peace, others valued power. Their goal? To dismantle that balance in order to create a dictatorship. Why? It all started when a toon fell in love with a cog. Love between a toon and a cog was forbidden. Despite this, Flippy only had hypno-eyes for the cog Sophie Squirt. Sophie Squirt’s a toon you say? You fool! While cogs saw Sophie for who she truly was, toons only knew Sophie as the wannabe Barnacle Bessie. Terrified of being exposed, Sophie avoided any interaction with the cogs. Only Flippy could understand Sophie’s plight and the two quickly and quietly eloped. Now, Flippy was well respected. Not only did he have the best pie recipes and dance moves, Flippy was also a master of x-x- zap combos and proper hydration. Flippy knew he could never just reveal his spontaneous marriage. The happy couple crafted a plan that would allow them to be public with their love. However, a capitalist at heart, Sophie’s plan quickly became corrupted with the desire for greed and power. They decided to form a not-very-toony coalition of toons and cogs named the Illumitoons™.  Their objective was to worsen relations between cogs and toons. Flippy was tasked with convincing Dr. Surlee to increase harmless, toony prank productivity. Sophie was tasked with brainwashing the most important cog to live – The Chairman Ottoman. After convincing Ottoman that toons only existed to gradually repeal Capitalism, cogs of all kind began to turn on the toons. Similarly, Flippy convinced toons of all species that cogs only existed to ruin all enjoyment of life. This quickly turned into an all out war of toons vs. cogs. Quickly, Toonbot turned into Toontown.  No longer were cogs accepted. No longer did cogs and toons peacefully coexist. No longer would the cogs get in the way of revealing Sophie’s identity. No longer would their relationship be kept secret.With so many gags stolen and buildings taken over by the cogs, the toons needed a leader. Flippy was ready to take on the job with Sophie by his side. It all went according to plan. Sophie was able to create chaos behind the scenes by sharing top secret toony info with the cogs. By doing this, cogs were able to stand against the toons, which cemented the need for a dictator mayor. Although they remain anonymous, this plan would have never reached fruition if not for the select few toons and cogs that supported Flippy and Sophie in their endeavors. Those that discover the truth behind the Illumitoons™ are placed behind bars in Ye Old Toontown, never to be seen again.  

Snow, Studying and Stevey - The Brrrgh: A place where even on the hottest day of Summer, Toons always wake up to a fresh blanket of snow covering the ground every morning. Year-round, it attracts all different kinds of Toons who fall in love with the almost magical atmosphere of the playground. Well, the thing is… the atmosphere actually IS magical. Wizards from all around Toontown flock to The Brrrgh to further study advanced magic. For some unknown reason, magic just seems to work better at lower temperatures. Advanced spells and enchantments that would normally be impossible to pull off become possible in The Brrrgh. This is exactly why Bill, Kiwwi and Wizardillo were heading there.“Augh, this place is FREEZING!” exclaimed Wizardillo.“Yeah, my feathers are standing on end already!” cried Kiwwi.“Well, it’d be weird if a place called ‘The Brrrgh’ wasn’t cold.” stated Bill with a sigh.Kiwwi and Wizardillo groaned, it was their first time in The Brrrgh. Bill had dragged them along since they had both just graduated from the highest level of Ye Olde Toontowne’s wizard education and were interested in studying the best magic from the best tutor, Lil’ Oldman.“Please tell me we can go to at least one place that has a heating system before we go to Oldman’s tomorrow… I’m imagining he has the A/C set on cold all day.” complained Wizardillo.“Of course we can! I’m not THAT cruel!” said Bill, making Wizardillo and Kiwwi calm down a little. “Lil’ Oldman on the other hand… When I was his stude-”“IS THAT SNOWMAN ALIVE??” yelled Kiwwi in shock and excitement, immediately running over, dragging Wizardillo along with her.“Hi there! I’m Kiwwi, this is Wizardillo!”“Oh, it’s ice to meet you guys! I’ve heard a lot about you from Bill! I’m Steve, but you can call me Stevey!”“You know Bill?” asked Kiwwi, extremely curious about this snowman.“Hey Stevey, it’s been a while!” said Bill, who had walked up behind the two while they were obsessing about meeting a talking snowman. “I brought these guys here to learn from Lil’ Oldman.”“Oh so you two graduated! Congrats!” exclaimed Stevey. “I always wanted to go to a wizard school… I can’t really leave this spot though.”“Aw, really? That’s so sad…” said Wizardillo. “Hey, you can keep this. I have like, fifteen.”Wizardillo placed their wizard hat onto Stevey’s head, making him smile cheek-to-cheek.“Thank you so much, Wizardillo!”“Maybe we’ll come teach you some spells later!” offered Kiwwi.Bill watched from afar as Kiwwi and Wizardillo got to know Stevey. Even though they had only met 10 minutes ago, they were already getting along so well. He looked up at the sky, which was beginning to turn a calming, muted orange. The training would begin tomorrow, it would most likely get pretty intense, but Bill knew how much they both love being wizards. He was sure they would do fine.

Once upon a time there was a boat. Now this wasn't just any boat, toons - it was a ship! A ship full of silly toons; hundreds of silly toons; the best silly toons, one and all! But it wouldn't be very toony of me to forget to mention the most noteworthy silly on board: Silly Tom. Tom would come to be among the silliest in Toontown, very silly to one and all, and the walking definition of a handsome dog! Now one fine morning, Tom and pals set out on a new, exciting adventure. What fantastic wonders will they discover this time? Perhaps they'll come across a scary Cog HQ? Perhaps they'll find a band of scary, swashbuckling Corporate Raiders and join forces to find an island made entirely of beans? Who knew? But it didn't matter… So long as they were together, there were smiles to be had and adventures to be shared. Now today t'was a day like any other adventure-y day, spirits were uncrushably high, everyone was singing and dancing and having a jolly time! Suddenly, as if the ocean shouted "Surprise!" a huge, massive storm brewed out of nowhere! Boy, that was quick! And there was lightning, BOOM! And thunder, BOOM! And the wind, BOO— I mean, WHOOSH! Then just as quickly as it had started, it was over. "Is everyone okay?", asked Tom, "I don't know what I'd do if I lost even one of you!" Tom continued. "But the eye of the storm can be very misleading guys, NEVER TURN YOUR BACK ON IT!" As if the ocean yelled "Sike!", the storm came back even bigger this time... twice as big! And the rain came down like a shower of gears, and the floorboards were buckling and creaking. "Whoosh-oosh!" Giant waves thrashed the boat to and fro, fro and to, carelessly throwing water onto the ship! Then this huge whale was like "Muhahahaha!", making it super scary! And I think there was a Loan Shark…Yup, there he is! Oh boy! "Hang on, Land Ho!" Tom exclaimed."Bang! Bang-Bang! Smash!" A shipwreck!While it seems like the end, this is only the beginning of a fantastic journey for the brave crew of the S.S Silly-ship... for they had come ashore at Barnacle Boatyard!

One little piece of metal. Embracing its beautiful non-existent wings as it soars through the universe. “I can give you what you seek.” I voice called out to him, “You will do great things.” A giant fat grey rabbit then revealed itself to him, “What’s up, doc? I can’t just let you drift around here with nothing to do. What is it you desire?”“I want purpose, to be a good person. I want a life.”“Excellent choice. You have wings in your spirit. Now go spread them, Mr. Wing!”He found himself in a big office. He finally had a body. His wig curled down to his ears, and he saw his fancy blue suit and red bowtie.  There was a book on his desk with a red feather inside. He opened it, “Atticus,” he read, “I like that name.”He was dumfounded by his new opportunities and the man in the book. He quickly ran out of his office faster than Professor Pi greens Toons.He needed a partner. He met a blue eagle who was very legal. Together, they attended law school and learned more about their peers.On graduation day after passing the bar exam, he had gotten “Atticus” on a diploma.But it wasn’t over yet. A red cat with weird hair had knocked down one of the gavels on the roof and was headed straight for his best friend. “Look out!” Atticus exclaimed, as he pushed his friend out of the way and got crushed by the gavel.His suit was destroyed, revealing a skelecog.“Atticus, you saved my life! I am in your debt,” said the eagle, “Also, you’re a V2.0!?”Atticus remembered the chungus that granted him his new life and thanked him once again, but also learned a valuable lesson. He used all his money and opened several insurance accounts. He entrusted most of it toward “A Brief Case of Insurance” where he met Barry Brief and Courtney Case, who promised his insurance will be safe. But he wasn’t finished yet.Atticus looked around at the pieces of his destroyed suit. It couldn’t go to waste. He needed an heir for his insurance and a companion to call his son. That night, he used what was left of his suit, along with pieces donated by his friend and constructed himself a companion that would accompany him everywhere. He programed him with everything he knew. He grabbed the feather that he kept all these years and gave it to him. “You will be my heir,” he said. His newly built companion saw the feather and said, “Red?”“Redd Heir. I like it. Welcome to the world, Red Heir Wing.”Suddenly, there was a knock on his office door. A tiny chair that seemed quite angry stepped in. “I’ve noticed your achievements have been exemplary, Mr. Wing. How would you like a temporary position at C.O.G.S., Inc. to help the company undergo new management? Our last guy was too blind for the job.”

Flippy, it is Bert, from Bert's Dirt! Bert has big problem! Bert has too much dirt in store, wherever Bert looks, dirt is found! After Christmas, Bert decided to get a lot of dirt. But Bert got too much. Now Bert's store is full of dirt! Bert NEEDS a bigger store, one like Flippy's. With a store that big, Bert could have so much more dirt! And so much sales. Flippy's store is also free from cogs. Cogs ruin Bert's sales a lot, that is not good. Think of the possibilities Bert could do with a store that big! Bert could have more dirt. Bert could have more Bert. Bert could have more dirt parties. Bert could get more dirt from customers. Bert could own the dirt monopoly. Bert could run Toontown with that much dirt! Bert could own cogs. Then Bert could make cogs into dirt! Or, Bert could make the cogs get dirt for Bert. Then Bert could make all gags dirt. Then Bert makes entire world dirt! Oh wait it almost is.Please consider.Bert, from Bert's Dirt

The Life of an Ambitious Middleman - I’ve quickly advanced the Boardbot ranks at the top of my class.Work and tedium are all I want and all I know.I believe it’ll be worth it though. Because as time comes to pass,corporatocracy will help me reap what I sow.One day we’ll finish our perfect world, saturated in gray,with oil, money, and laws for everyone to obey.But I need to stop those pesky toons from standing in the way.I ponder to myself, what will be the plan today?A coworker alerts me of a new memo to review.I read it. “ATTENTION: ATTENDANCE NECCESARY.”A meeting, and a presentation today. Fantastic news!I arrive three hours early, as is customary.I’m excited to receive new orders about our campaign.I prepare myself to hear the words of the Chairman:“I hereby assign you to patrol the streets of Lighthouse Lane.”So, I went forth, fully compliant with his master plan.I fly down to the scene, ready to spread more monotony.The toons were at work, spreading silliness like wildfire!I had expected this exasperating cacophony,but there was something I hadn’t expected to transpire:One of the toons picks me to be a New Friend! But I’m not dense.I know friending a cog is their gimmick, and a ploy!I point to my watch, saying “I don’t have time for this nonsense.”But now they’re approaching with intent to destroy.We fight on the streets! This is the moment I’ve been waiting for-silliness matched to gears and precision-milled sprockets.But as always, the toons move first, so I’ll wait for what’s in store.The toon brandishes something strange from their back pockets.A peculiar button is pressed— whistling sounds overhead.I can’t help but notice the growing shadow below— oh no.I thought I had a hopeful future, but I suppose instead,corporatocracy will make me reap what I sow.

                On the streets of her hometown of Loonburg, Sylvia Lemonpop, a purple kangaroo toon dressed in yellow, lazily leaning back against her tail and propping herself up with it, greets 3 shady figures looking to enter looking to enter the local toy shop.                "G'day! Sorry, but the owner of this shop had to step out and asked me to look after the place. You can come back later, and he'll be happy to..." "Step aside, toon!" One of the Cogs interrupted. "We're here on official C.O.G.S. business which does NOT concern YOU!" The bossy and rather rude Cog who interrupted her was a Neck breather. They were always poking their long noses in everyone's business and enjoyed bossing over their subordinates. They were always breathing down everyone's necks, hence their names.                Sylvia retorted "Yes it does! Ever since you C.O.G.S. lot came into town; our happy little burg has been slowly turnin' into a wasteland of sad grey buildings. My friend's givin' me good Gummi Bears to protect his shop! Surely you no-fun blokes don't need a toy store!  There's nothin' here you..."                "Ugh, stop!" The Pencil-headed figure then interrupted, his hands covering over where his ears would be "You're butchering the English language! "Turnin'?" "Givin'?" "Nothin'?" Who speaks like this?" Sylvia gets frustrated "Seriously? You run my friends out of their shops, you talk rude to me, and now you criticize my G-droppin'?" The Pencil Pusher retorts, wagging his pocket pencil in the toon's face "You did it again! This "G-Droppin'" is the most childish thing I've ever heard! And if you "drop G's" then what was that "G'day!" earlier?" Sylvia blankly replies, "Australian slang..." "Slang? Bah! You also misspelled "gray"" "Both are acceptable... And aren't we talking? Why are you complaining about misspellings?" "And you misspelled "Gummy"! Uses slang, can't spell, and "drops G's". About what I expected from a toon who takes bears with gum as payment!" Sylvia just stood there, trying to comprehend what she had just heard. The stumpy Cog with glasses speaks up "Actually Gummi Bears are the local currency here in Loonburg." Pencil Pusher turns to Flunky "Oh not you too!"                "ENOUGH!!!" The Neck breather yells, clearly annoyed by whatever this was. "Listen here, toon! I am on a tight schedule, and I'm NOT going to be late for my next meeting over some... ridiculous conversation about "G's"! Flunky! Pencil Pusher! Detain this little mangy-haired brat at once!" "Yes, Neck Breather!" They salute their boss then approach the purple kangatoon. Sylvia then pulls a magnet from behind her, which then flies towards the cogs. The Flunky and Pencil Pusher jump out of the way, and the magnet slams against Neck Breather's metal chest. Surprised, she looks down at the magnet stuck to her and notices something attached to the other end of it with industrial glue. Dynamite. Lit dynamite. Instead of panicking, she sighs and pulls out her phone "...Maggie? Let the boss know I'm... ugh... going to be late..."

Our story begins with everyone's favorite toony tourist, Tumbles! Earlier today, Tumbles decided that he wanted to explore Toontown and see new places. He went to Toon Hall to ask Flippy if he had any good places in mind to check out. After some brainstorming, Flippy suggested visiting the giant flower in Daffodil Gardens. Tumbles thought this was a great idea and started heading that way immediately. But before he could make it down Wacky Way, He was stopped by Lord Lowden Clear! “Slow down there pal, this tunnel is temporarily closed. There has been an overwhelming number of Derrick Men being sent through here lately and our new toons just aren’t strong enough to handle them all yet. If you are looking to get to Daffodil Gardens, I recommend heading down Silly Street and going through Ye Olde Toontown”, Lowden Clear said. So that’s what Tumbles did. Upon arriving in Ye Olde Toontown, clouds had rolled in and it began to rain before he could head through Knight Knoll. Seeking cover, he headed into the nearest area he could find. Upon entering he found himself heading down a long spiral ramp while it became more eerie and chilling the farther he went. Tumbles was looking around and heard someone calling out to him! “Hello, is anyone there?” Tumbles was surprised that there was actually someone in this strange place and went to check it out. “Hello there my name is Timmy, Timmy Riddle.” Tumbles asked what he was doing down here and Timmy explained that the Elders had locked him up because of his magic pranks around town, and they wouldn’t let him out. “I promise I’ll only use my magic for good things now I swear, could you go speak with the Elders and see if they can let me out of here?” Timmy asked. “Sure maaaan, I'll see what’s up.” said Tumbles. After the rain cleared, Tumbles went to the Elders Headquarters to try and help out his new friend. “We toldeth that gent not to useth his magic f'r pranks but he didst not hark to us!” said the Elders. Tumbles pleaded that Timmy was ready to behave. After a chat to themselves, they came to an agreement, as long as Tumbles kept an eye on Timmy they would let him go. The Elders released the magic seal on the doors and Timmy was let out. Tumbles had a great idea and explained to Timmy that he could use his magic to help solve the problem in Toontown Central! They went straight to Wacky Way with Lord Lowden Clear and got to work using Timmy’s magic to drive back the Derrick Men. It didn’t take long before they retreated back to their headquarters. After hearing the good news, Flippy offered to let Tumbles and Timmy set up shop on Wacky Way to help any toons in need! Tumbles looked at Timmy and smiled, because he knew he made his own special helpful tourist spot in Toontown.

Meanwhile in Boardbot Headquarters, the Chairman also know as Robert Cyger was in his office doing boring paperwork when all of a sudden someone began knocking on his door. "Come in.", the Chairman said. The door then opened to appear the C.O.O. or most recognizable as "Ottoman." "Good Afternoon Otto, what brings you here?" the Chairman asked. "Well Robert, I noticed Bubby wasn't the best fit for you after the last time you spoke with him, so I decided to bring someone else into our family that could bring more comfort. " Then all of a sudden there was cog noises in the hallway. Otto turning around in the direction of the noise, while the Chairman having a panicked expression. Quick foot steps could be heard down the hallway until the source of the noise ran right through Ottoman to reveal... a doodle?! "WHY IS THERE A DOODLE HERE?!" The Chairman yelled. "Uh.. well... Uh... I thought it would give you a little more company and make your hard work a little less -  As the doodle was walking around, the Chairman noticed a collar around the doodle's neck that read, "Jitterbug." "OTTO DID YOU STEAL THIS DOODLE FROM A TOON?!" The Ottoman replied, "Uh....." - Meanwhile at owner's estate - "JITTERBUG WHERE ARE YOU!!!" A brown fox named Autumn cried. "JITTERBUG!!!" The Chairman and Ottoman both sat in silence staring at each other in awkward silence. "Well Otto, out of all the cogs I've met, I have never met one that has pulled off what you did." The Chairman then had a devilish idea. "Otto.. You know what.. I'm glad you did this." The Chairman replied. Meanwhile the doodle was looking up at the Chairman at his desk with happy eyes, tongue sticking out and drooling over the office floor. "Oh.. I'm so glad to hear that! I think he will make a great frien-" The Chairman cuts off Otto, "To take this doodle from the toon. We should do this with all the toons' doodles and have them locked up here so that toons will learn their lesson! They'll beg for their doodles and we won't give them back until they surrender to cogs incorporated! If they refuse to cooperate, then those toons can be sad without them!" The Chairman exclaimed. then evilly laughing. Ottoman and the doodle both looked at each other for a moment with blank looks and then back at the Chairman. Ottoman then replied, "Uh... sir, that wasn't why I brou-" the Chairman then cuts off Otto again, "Don't worry Otto, I will be filing new promotion papers to you very soon." The Chairman replied. Otto stood with a blank expression. Meanwhile the doodle was shocked and took of like lightning out of the office and jumped through a window. "GREAT! ANOTHER WINDOW TO FIX!" The Chairman yelled.

Clank!        The sound of metal hitting metal echoed throughout the headquarters as Rook meticulously hammered in every last nail. Oil and sweat seeped through his uniform, a testament to his hours of tireless work.        “It’s like climbing a mountain,” Rook voiced to no one in particular. “Lots of obstacles to get past, right? But I just gotta keep pushing forward. Can’t give up, even when it seems impossible.” Crouching down to the floor, his hands began a general sweep of the surrounding area.        “What?” questioned a puzzled Lord Lowden Clear. “Did you say something?” Rook glanced up to the counter behind which Lowden Clear was standing.        “No, it was nothing,” Rook replied with a half-hearted chuckle, paying more attention to the gaps between the wooden floor. “Do you see where my screwdriver went?” He looked up once more to see Lowden Clear shaking his head.        “Wait,” Lowden Clear paused, “Is that it, to your left a bit?” Rook's eyes glanced over and, sure enough, the screwdriver was magically there.        Rook just shook his head and laughed. “Well I’ll be a monkey’s uncle,” he sighed as he picked up the screwdriver and reached for a pile of small screws to his right. “I’m almost done with this darn thing. Just a little more…” Rook cut himself off as he realized, “I’m not even supposed to be using screws here. What am I even doing?” He haphazardly tossed the screwdriver and screw in tandem with each other, opting instead for the hammer and nails he had previously been utilizing.Clink!        “You said something about a mountain, right?” Questioned Lord Lowden Clear. “Talking about the obstacles you had to tackle to reach the top?”        “Something like that,” replied Rook, “Not that anyone was supposed to hear. Just mindless rambling, I guess.”        Lowden Clear let out a chuckle as Rook continued hammering. “Don’t sell yourself short, rookie - heh, Rook-ee…”        “Ha ha. Funny.”        “You know what I mean, though. You have overcome plenty of obstacles to reach this point. You’ve done pretty darn well for yourself.” Lowden Clear lifted the gate to come from behind the counter, approaching Rook and crouching next to him. Picking up a nail from the pile of small metal pieces and rolling it in the palm of his hand, Lowden Clear inquired, “This the last nail here?”        Rook nodded his head. “You betcha.” Lowden Clear extended his hand and Rook took the nail.Ding!        With one final blow, the nail is locked in place and the build is completed. Rook took a step back and wiped the sweat from his brow, admiring the fruits of his labor - his very first Cold Caller disguise.        “Finally,” Rook began, “Time to take on the V.P.!” As he stretched for the first time in hours, he finally declared, “We’ll be meeting very soon, Mr. Senior Vice President!”

This is the story of a young, adventurous kiwi. His name? Well, we don’t know. We do know, however, that he is a rare breed of kiwi. A golden kiwi comes around once in a lifetime, you know. But that’s beside the point of our story today. The young toon was brand new in town, wandering through the streets and viewing the sights of Toontown, but one specific sight stuck out to him. “Why is this snowman moving?”, he said aloud. He had seen some wacky stuff, but nothing like this before. In fact, he hadn’t even known about this land of icicles and snowballs on his trip over here. Out of the blue, the snowman spoke. “Hi! I’m Steve!”        Of course, our young Kiwi was very, very frightened. He ran and hid behind a snowbank almost instantly. “Oh, did I scare you?”, Steve asked. “I’m very sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you!” Our little kiwi friend poked his head from the snowbank and realized that he meant no harm, so he slowly approached him. “Can I ask a favor of you?”, Steve asked. “Um… sure… what do you need, Mr. Snowman?”        “As you can see, I’m a snowman. Unlike most snowmen, however, I love warm things like hugs and fire! I’ve also always wanted a friend.” That last part felt a bit out of place. Steve sounded like he was upset about that last part. Our Kiwi friend looked towards Steve. Despite him being made of snow, he could feel the sadness in his voice. “I’ll be your friend, Mr. Snowman... don’t be sad.”        “You will?” Steve asked excitedly. “Of course, I will! No one should be without a friend!” the kiwi responded. “Oh boy! I can’t wait to have all kinds of winter fun with you!” Steve said. And, since that day, the kiwi always came to visit the snowman. He always made sure to bring his warmest hugs and have as much fun as he could with his snowpal.

The Boardbot’s Boredom- A Toontown: Corporate Clash short story by “Rad E. Cool”In Drowsy Dreamland, at the very end of Twilight Terrace’s winding mountain path lies a Cog HQ Tunnel. The Toon Resistance believes that this tunnel leads to Boardbot HQ, the base of operations for the Boardbots, and the presumed location of The Chairman. However, attempts to breach the sinister headquarters have been unsuccessful due to several high-ranking Security Goons on patrol. That hasn’t stopped the Toon Resistance from trying though, even the tiniest piece of information on what is happening within that sinister headquarters could prove useful.         As time went on, the Toon Resistance started to become unsure if they’d ever be able to successfully infiltrate the mysterious headquarters. However, during Phase 3 of Operation: Break the Law something unusual happened. April Toons was one of many holidays that the Toons of Toontown held near and dear to them. It was a time where the silliness was at an all-time high, and it was a time that The Cogs despised greatly. It was during this time that, for reasons the Toon Resistance still does not fully understand, the entrance to Boardbot HQ was unblocked and Toons could finally discover what dreadful business tactics were being plotted. The Toons saw this as an opportunity to get the jump on The Chairman and potentially end things and fully take back their town from The Coal, Oil, and Gas Syndicate Incorporated. However, nothing could have prepared them for what they found.        Instead of an elaborate courtyard swarming with high-ranking Boardbots, the Toons instead found themselves in a small gray concrete room with nothing but a large elevator and a potted plant sitting next to it. Preparing themselves for what they assumed would be a trap, they charged in expecting to be in for the fight of their lives. The elevator didn’t take them to The Chairman, or even a room filled with Security Goons waiting to capture them, instead, they found themselves in a small boiler room with a loan Cog sitting at a desk. For a moment, thousands of ideas and possibilities started to race through their minds as to what they should do. Some thought they should attack while they had the element of surprise, others thought they should just leave and report their discovery to Lord Lowden Clear. Before they could do anything though, The Cog looked up from their paperwork and addressed the Toons, “Oh. Hi there.” “I didn’t expect you all so suddenly.” “Well, go ahead and make yourself comfortable. I will be sitting here doing my work.” The Cog said. The Toons were shocked and confused, this is the first time a Cog had reacted this way towards The Toons. The Toons couldn’t help but sit and watch, all while still preparing themselves for anything unexpected. However, as time went on the Toons had realized that there was no trap, there was no battle, it was just them, “The Ottoman”, and several potted plants.

Tumbles was a fun toon. He liked to think he was, at least. He was bright and cheery, always looking for the rays of sunshine that were hiding in places he knew he wouldn't find them in. Even in Drowsy Dreamland, where just the sight of the blankets drew his beak into a yawn, he managed to smile after his friend had fixed the camera he was almost sure he'd broken beyond repair.He had damaged it after bumping into a cog in the streets. The encounter had frightened him so badly he dropped his camera and ran. It had taken him a few hours to find it in the streets afterward, and he was lucky to have a friend who helped him fix it.His friend had helped him out many times as he traveled his way through the Toontown playgrounds. They always seemed a little worried, a little rushed. Sometimes they were missing laff, a little sadder than normal... but they always stopped to make time for him. Throughout his travels, Tumbles saw his friend get stronger and stronger. Toons of all species blurred past his face, some of them even making it to the next playground before he had finished exploring.They were all so determined.Tumbles wasn't that brave. No, he was just a kiwi, exploring a disaster-struck town. When it all blew over he'd go home, nothing to his name but the memories of the friends he'd made and the souvenirs he'd collected.And the photos, of course, from his trusty camera.Tumbles couldn't fight. He'd heard the explosions of cogs, seen the fear on Toon's faces. He didn't want to be a part of it. The bird wasn't even fit to be a member of the Resistance! He was too small, not fast enough- Not smart enough! He knew those things weren't really deterring him from the battle, though. He was just scared. Fighting wasn't for him.The little kiwi felt bad that he didn't do more, but every time he saw his friend, and their face lit up with a smile after one of his quips, he felt a little better. He'd always given his friend something in return for their kindness, and no matter how busy they were, they had always been grateful.Tumbles hoped that as long as he made friends with the toons of this bumbling town- as long as he kept trying to direct his friends toward the sunshine he could see- he'd make a mark somehow. As long as he could crack a few jokes and get a few laughs, he could help his friends keep fighting the battle he couldn't.Tumbles didn't know how to throw a cream pie, but he knew how to strike a pose.So until the battle was won, and the cogs were defeated, he'd keep making new friends and he'd keep spreading joy... because throughout his journey, he'd learned a valuable lesson.A little laughter goes a long way.